Valentine’s Day is always an interesting date on the calendar isn’t it?
It’s the first proper event day as such on the calendar after Christmas, and it happens during the hardest few months of the year. Those months where we cling to any form of excitement because the dark days are long, cold and bitter. So even if we don’t actually intend to celebrate Valentine’s Day there’s no denying that it is a date that slowly creeps in.
The frustrating thing about Valentine’s Day is that it traditionally relies upon us being validated by someone else. And as lovely as that can be, it’s actually very damaging. Because what about those of us that don’t have partners? or those of us who feel forgotten on Valentine’s Day. Those of us that are going through difficult life issues and then feeling the pressure of this particular day looming?
Which is why for many years I’ve realised that Valentine’s Day should be about yourself. It should be about reconnecting with who you are and learning to love her and see her value. Nobody should validate who you are. Only you need to validate yourself.
A lot of how we feel about ourselves comes from the way we portray ourselves to the world. If we’re having a ‘good’ day we feel happier and more confident, but if we’re having a day where we feel less than comfortable it’s really hard to love ourselves during those moments. If those bad moments last a long time it really starts to affect us mentally.
As we get older and our bodies adjust and change it can be hard for many of us to love what looks back at us in the mirror. After all we’re bombarded daily by celebrities and models that have that ‘perfect’ body type.
But let’s be honest, if you’re alive then your body is absolutely perfect in all senses of the word. It doesn’t matter if there’s a little wobbly bit here or there. Or you have a scar that runs along it. Or you have stretch marks. Or your boobs aren’t quite in the same place they were in your 20’s. And yes while those celeb bodies might look amazing in magazines, we don't actually know what body hang ups they have themselves that we're unaware of.
For those of you that have come in to see me, I've no doubt shared my post kids tummy with you- I like to show you that we all have parts of us we don't like. Outwardly I look fairly petite and small but I have a body that will never wear a bikini ever again! But actually it doesn't matter and I've come to accept that part of me- although it took a long time.
Your body will and does change, and it will continue to do so to keep you alive, well and healthy.
And you need to love it and yourself the entire time, not just on Valentine’s Day. But make this the Valentine’s Day where you step out of your comfort zone and really see yourself. Embrace just how wondrous and beautiful you truly are. Just like my gorgeous client did in this image which we took as part of the 40 over 40 project. She wanted to step out of her comfort zone and to see her body properly so she could learn to let go of the negative thoughts she has had over it for many years.
Every time she starts to think badly about herself this image is there for her to remind herself how incredible, brave, resilient and beautiful she truly is.
