After a winter hiatus (with full house renovations so no studio to hand), it’s time to come back with a brand new exciting project. I floated the idea last year, but because of everything going on I couldn’t really get it going without the space I needed and half my equipment in the loft.

Plus the longer I’ve sat on the idea and the concept, the more it’s evolved. I absolutely loved The 40/40 Project and the women that I met were incredibly inspiring. I wanted more of that because it brought an acceptance over who I was just by being in their presence. Unknowingly, it created a self acceptance to my perception of ageing. I met so many women on so many different journey’s. From the just widowed, the newly heartbroken. Those going through medical trauma and treatments. Those awaiting results on life changing health matters. I met women who were defying the media’s perception over being a woman over the age of 40. I also met those that embraced the slower lifestyle ageing presented them with. It was incredible. I encountered all the highs and all the lows. Ultimately I came away with a very different view on how to confront the ageing process in a way that was my decision and not impressed upon me by the media. Acceptance, excitement and joy.

The stories moved me, and the portraits I created stirred deep in my soul as the stories came to life visually.

The Proud Project follows on from this. It’s not age dependent because I feel many of us struggle and have struggled throughout the ages. The more we see the visuals of this the easier it is for us to accept exactly who we are or who we’re wanting to become. I talk about my body issues and how photography helped me confront parts of my body I disliked. And I do believe photography provides great therapy in that sense. But I wanted more than just personal therapy.

I wanted to create something that could actively help others outside of this project. A photographic book with different stories and visuals representing a wide section of society and the challenges we individually face at different times, whether that’s visual to the outside world or not.

We all have stories, and the more those stories are shared the more we realise that everyone has their own hidden battle, thoughts and feelings. The more we acknowledge and confront those areas we’re meant to be ashamed of, the more healing can occur. It gives us the chance to truly accept ourselves and others in all our unique attributes, rather than to focus on the differences. I wanted to gift everyone with the permission to sit in their feelings on days when they feel different or insecure and to know that they’re not alone.

I want truth, I want reality. I want raw emotion. I want to create art in its many guises with subjects that aren’t afraid to sit in those feelings and are ready to show up as themselves to the world with pride.

If that sounds like a bit of you, take a look at The Proud Project FAQs to learn more or sign up here.

Neurofibromatosis: A genetic condition which causes tumours to grow along the body’s nerves.

Scoliosis: Scar from scoliosis surgery which is where the spine twists and curves to the side.

Body rolls and dimpling: Representing more body types is important for all women.

Photography has always been a therapeutic tool for me. I think hiding away from cameras definitely reveals an insecurity and I think many women (myself included) have felt that genuine fear of being in front of the camera. In fact I talk about it a lot in my About Me section where I discuss how I avoided being in front of the camera when my children were little.

After having my children I was left with your typical mum tum- thankfully people are talking about these bodily changes more frequently but when I had my first child these issues were still covered up and it’s very isolating feeling like you’re the only person to have been left with scars, marks and an overhang. Diastasis recti and two c-sections have meant the body I had pre-children isn’t coming back without surgery. So my options were to either love my body with its new squishy texture or to continue obsessing over it and feeling insecure for the rest of my life or until I went down the surgical route- something I’m not comfortable with. Kudos to anyone that is happy to get surgery but I’m the biggest wimp so I avoid medical procedures wherever possible. I’ve summarised my issues in a short paragraph but the reality is it’s taken me maybe 5 years to fully embrace my new body and it’s an ongoing journey.

Sometimes when I speak to clients I talk about insecurities and how they feel about their bodies. It’s important for me to know as a photographer how a person perceives themselves and whether they have a body issue that I can help them with. Because the reality is sometimes our own body hatred is deep within our minds and visually it’s never as bad as we make it out to be. Photography is the perfect tool to help you on your path to healing. I want to be able to enable you to look at yourself objectively- to take away the negative voices you have about yourself.

I frequently say to my clients that we’re going to confront their insecurity if they’re happy for me to guide them through it. The worst that’ll happen is that nothing changes- they never need to see the images again and no one will ever know. But the best that can happen is that I can help them see themselves in a different light- through kinder eyes and I can help them start their healing journey. There is beauty is our differences and it’s wrong to think we should all have to be the same. I will also happily get my mum tum out for any client that doesn’t believe I have my own insecurities.

I wanted to share some stories from a couple of clients that have been in recently. Some wonderful women that allowed me to help them photograph parts of themselves they’ve struggled with. I’ll let them tell you their stories in their own words.

“I'm Debbie, I'm 50 years old and have had body dysmorphia for a fair part of my life.

My story begins at just 11 years old when I was diagnosed with a spinal condition called Scoliosis meaning curvature of the spine. At the beginning it was only a small curve but as I continued to grow so did the curve. It then became life threatening and I needed to have some major spinal surgery to save my life. I needed metal rods and wiring inserted to help the stop of the curve becoming worse. Because I was different I was bullied at school.

By the time I was 20 I'd endured 4 major spinal ops and some other procedures to help with my deformity- primarily a rib hump which saw me have some of my ribs removed. I now have a 16" scar right down the middle of my back. It makes me feel self conscience and ugly.

But Donna captured my back beautifully and in a way to confront my imperfections (to me) and show me my body as art. We all have things we don't always like about ourselves but doing this with Donna has been a good and positive experience.

I'm not going to say I love my body or myself still because body dysmorphia doesn't disappear overnight but i's made me look at myself slightly differently.”

Debbie

“Lots of people describe their journey with their body confidence as a journey. But in reality, it's more like a dance.

The process of accepting and loving my body hasn't gone from hatred and then progressed to love. There are times I love my body and times it frustrates me. That's the dance. I’m in it, constantly. There is no beginning and end destination. But I'm definitely no longer hating my body and it is the most empowering feeling.

My dance with my back has been quite an intense one. It's the part of my body where the tempo of the music changes frequently. Sometimes it's like 90’s RnB, sometimes its like the death march, like I'm going into battle with it.

I 100% accept all of my body and absolutely adore nearly all of it. I've learnt to embrace who I am, drown out the societal expectations of me as a woman and focus on what feels right for me.”

Kayleigh Confidence and Empowerment Coach

If you want to try and see if I can help you with your body image or your mental health issues through my photography please don’t hesitate to get in touch. The worst that can happen is that you don’t change your mindset with me, but the best that can happen is that we start you off on your journey to accept and learn to love exactly who you are and to feel good about it.

Boudoir; often mis spelt as buodoir, budoir, bodoir, boudior is a branch off of portrait photography but the image gives a more sensual and sexy feel than traditional portraiture. It doesn’t have to mean lingerie, high heels, stockings or full nudity. It can be whatever you need it to be and taken to a level of comfort that you have. If lingerie is your jam then I’m happy to photograph you in it. But if you just want to dip a toe into boudoir you might feel comfortable wearing our in studio white shirt instead which covers you up entirely, or using a white sheet to keep yourself more hidden. There are so many ways to incorporate boudoir into your photo sessions. So I thought I’d let you know what boudoir at Donna Duke-Llande Photography looks like:

1. It’s a way to feel empowered and to appreciate your feminine form. They did it in the Greek and Roman days, and it’s time to bring that appreciation back for all female body types.

2. It’s something that’s done just for you. It’s an incredible feeling knowing that you’ve done something out of your comfort zone, and while you might gift the image to a partner we all know it’s really something for you.

3. It’s about being a bit more sensual in the imagery than traditional portraits. It’s about looking classy and creating something artistic that you will love.

4. It’s about showing a bit of skin, but how much depends on you. The pose is just as important as the outfit and actually a jumper with the shoulder pulled down can be boudoir and just as sexy as being fully nude or in an incredible lace bodysuit.

5. Your comfort is paramount and that’s why I work with an all female team who will make you feel comfortable throughout. We can close the set down if you prefer to just you and myself but rest assured your comfort always comes first.

6. Boudoir can be part of your photoshoot if you want to try it. It doesn’t have to be the whole session.